humor. found in the little places.

my week via highlight reel:

my baby turned two.  two.  i can hardly believe it.  she'll be opening her time capsule on her 18th birthday, like... tomorrow.

seen on the playground:  a boy in my class walking around with bags on his feet - to aid in maintaining dry socks in wet shoes.  but really it just served to amuse the heck out of me.

heard on the playground:  two boys building in big blocks having an argument over the spelling of fort....
child one:  it's spelled f-a-r-t.
child two:  no it isn't.  f-a-r-t spells fart.  f-o-r-t spells fort.
child one:  you're wrong.  it's f-a-r-t.
child two:  that's fart.  fart.  that spells fart.

seen at dismissal:  a girl in my class with a small, squirmy, furry something in her hand.  when i asked what she had she replied, "it's a furry ball i found."  i distinctly saw legs.  "let me see."  she so smartly tucks the creature into her palm so all that is showing is a puff of light brown fur.  i looked her in the eye and told her i knew what she was holding.  "where did you get the mouse? [hoping] is it a pet?"  no.  she found it in her yard.  she put it in the front pocket of her backpack.  and it's been in our cubby area all day.  her mom was not, too, keen on my suggestion that she bring it home and release it back into its own habitat where she found it.   

shavasawho?

tuesday is yoga night.  t and i actually hire a babysitter so we can go to yoga together.  and sweat.  and get our asses kicked.  in unison.

some tuesdays i can't wait to go.  others... not so much.  each tuesday when i climb into my car and begin my 45 minute commute home the brain vs body battle begins.

brain: you've been on your feet all day.  now it is time to rest.  that class is 72 minutes of working and 3 minutes of resting.


body:  [insert tony little's voice] you can doo iiiiit!  it doesn't matter that you've been squatting in tiny person chairs and hovering on thigh strength all day.  you can doo iiiiit!


brain:  you have a million and ten things to do.  you don't really have time for yoga.  there are dishes and vacuuming and toilets to clean.


body:  you're getting so close to getting sexy back.  think about your bikini.  picture how hot my back side will look if you go to yoga!

and on and on and on.  if it wasn't for the standing appointment babysitter i think my brain could actually win one.  but in the end my brain always remembers that we have a weekly arrangement and it can't seem to find a loophole that doesn't involve feelings of guilt.

so off to yoga i go.  and once i'm there i push and pull and squat and lengthen.  and breathe.  and breathe.  and breathe.  and then i realize i'm relaxed and renewed.  and then it's time for shavasana.  and my brain decides that the body has had enough playtime and it takes over.  there is no meditation.  there is no open mind free of thought.  there is just muddling.  THIS is when my brain decides to muddle through the mundane to the important.  try as i might to focus on the lovely ethereal music... to clear my brain...  THIS is when the randomness pops into my head.

tonight my brain decided to review a student's story from writing.  his little voice surfaced through my attempts at abstractly visualize rather than think.  i heard his little voice reading me his story...

"eyeball came down from space to attack earth he landed on earth sterling said daniel we must destroy him quick get me a piece of tinfoil i have a burrito i need to wrap up we must destroy eyeball and they did"

classic.

can't liver with em. can't liver without em.

i spent my saturday:

- attempting to weed the blackberry garden...  but i almost reenacted the baby jessica moment when i slipped into a hole my husband had dug then covered with a garden tile that barely covered the top.

- attempting to work on my end of the year reports...  but there's only so many sugary sentiments you can type before you go into hyperglycemic shock.

- attempting to relax for a spell... but delilah and her canine sister decided to duke it out for attention which entailed lots of whining, pushing, and scratching.

by 6pm i was scowling.    not even culinary endeavors could shift my spirits.

sometimes the only thing that will cure my rotten mood is a good kick in the liver. 

shannon is smiling now.

praise jameson.

tiles and toilets and sinks, oh my!

bathroom renovation pros and cons:

+ we now have this fantastic tile covering the nasty floor that i have been cringing at for the last year.

- now the tile in the downstairs bathroom (identical except for the pink hue) is even more glaringly disgusting.

- there is no toilet in the upstairs bathroom at the present time.  a challenge for a girl who has a bladder the size of an acomo pepe.

+ i'm gaining buns and thighs of steel while ascending and descending the stairs in my sleep 85 times a night.

+ i've been able to clean the walls where i was previously unable to clean due to the wall hung sink and toilet in my way.

- when the old sink and toilet were removed they revealed gunk on the walls that looked and smelled like the bottom of a swamp. 

+ the walls are sparkling now.

- i wretched the whole time while achieving said sparkle.

here's hoping i arrive home tomorrow to find a new sink and toilet! 
cheers! 
[note to self: stop filling teeny bladder with beer before bed.]