i brake for old people

today i drove past an old lady sitting on a bench.  someday i hope to be like her.  oblivious of the fact that i have turned into that old lady sitting on the bench with my two wheeled push cart parked beside me.  i also hope to be ignorant of the fact that i am wearing a polyester pants suit.

i ♥ old people. 

they have reached the point in life where they just don't give a damn.  the world is their oyster.  they have paid their dues and now feel entitled to verbalize unwarranted judgements, push pedestrians around with their walking aides, and freely pass gas in the middle of the shopping aisle.

we young'ins should take a page 

out of the old people handbook

old people have slowed down.  [unwillingly in some cases sure, but...]  they now take the time to enjoy the weather, to while away the day chatting, or to just sit and look oblivious on a bench.  we could learn a lot from the old people around us.  and i don't mean how long it took them to walk fifteen miles uphill to school in a snow storm with no shoes on.

so, i've decided to slow down.  and become an old person gracefully. 

but dear lord... 

please never let my ass look like that old guy's butt from the hangover.