i've decided to design a belt. this will be no ordinary belt. it will be a burner belt to the extreme. the design will include compartments for provisions such as money, keys, multimedia devices, chapstick and gum. the fabric will be waterproof. it will have lots of straps and buckles. because i like straps and buckles.
this belt may not seem unique or interesting to you. you may actually be saying to yourself... "i've seen this belt before. many times in fact. and no matter how many straps and buckles you add to it, it will still be a glorified fanny pack."
but allow me enlighten you. the full potential and purpose of this belt was not illustrated in the aforementioned plan. the glory of this belt is realized when you take note of the eight small buttons along the front. they are not buttons like: "so"... "buttons on a shirt." they are buttons that when pushed would play a series of recordings.
this belt and these recorded messages will allow me to refrain from the need to repeat myself over and over again. because, as of late, i am feeling a bit broken recordish.
i've been brainstorming what each message could say...
1) "keep your hands to yourself."
2) "because i said so."
3) "[insert particular student's name]"
4) "grande americano with an extra shot, please."
5) "are you waiting for a written invitation? merge dammit!"
6) "did you use an 'I' statement before you came to me?"
7) "do i really need to know about this?"
8) "i am not your maid."
it will also have some serious volume control. because there are times when an "inside voice" will not suffice.
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