not nobel prize swedish... more like swedish chef swedish.

my award worthy thoughts for the day:

a)  the "smaller plate" portion management technique only works if you don't scarf down thirds.

b)  it is impossible for a google doc to be a "living, breathing" document.  though versatile, i'm fairly certain its versatility does not include a respiratory system.

c)  driving your SUV with 20+ balloons flying out of the driver's side window is not advisable.  however, neither is stuffing them into the vehicle with you.  that just screams driving hazard.

d)  despite what my dog apparently thinks, my skirt does not double as a flying carpet while i'm walking down the stairs. 

e)  none of the above.

this was a test of the emergency broadcasting system.  in the case of a true emergency, you should remain calm and remember that according to the children, "it is opposite day."