phrolf

i'm visually impaired.  like the... without-visual-aides-everything-within-a-one-foot-radius-of-me-is-a-blurry-blob ...kind of impaired.  so i've always considered my kinesthetic spatial finesse to be a balanced compensation for my crappy visual status.  it was a fair trade.  i have the visual prowess of a mole but i can navigate space like a heat seeking missile.

then i got pregnant.  and suddenly my intrinsic understanding of how to maneuver my body through space took a flying leap into a dumpster.  at first i assumed it was due to my growing belly.  said belly was shifting my center of gravity, leaving my inner sense askew.  no problem.  lose the belly - recenter the body.  that theory was systematically dismantled as i lost the baby weight but never regained my spatial finesse.

so now i am left with the frustration of walking into doorways, slipping down stairwells, and inexplicably tripping over invisible wrinkles in the sidewalk.  but beyond these gross motor joys, i seem to have an additional problem with small motor tasks involving my hands.  the most common recipient of casualties related to this impairment is my phone.  i have gone from heat seeking missile to telephone rocket launcher.  and let me tell you... that thing gets some serious air.

and anyone who has ever seen me attempt to throw a frisbee knows:
when i throw a flat object - you better duck.
[particularly if you're standing behind me.]

i think i may be close to answering the age old question, "how many throws does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a multimedia device?"