and i don't mean mom jeans.
[i've never had any of those and if i ever did, i certainly wouldn't miss them.]
when i talk
"really?"
"you do that?"
"huh?"
and my most frequent inward utterance:
"holy jesus. it's two letters... en oh. say it with me... no!"
[disclaimer: i am in no way insinuating that i am a parenting guru. more to the point, i seem to be deficient in some aspects that make most mothers tick. in other words, i am fully admitting that i may be a few diaper pins short of the nappy falling off.]
mentioning mom jeans has fueled my desire to turn this entry into an ode to my guilty television pleasure. i once was an avid project runway viewer. my interest has seriously waned and i now find myself multitasking while half watching the show, simply to hear the verbal gems that emerge like pearls from a battered mollusk.
i shall share some with you now:
"it looks like a pterodactyl from a gay jurassic park."
"jackie kennedy would not have camel toe."
"not a lot of women want to have cancelled stamped across their crotch."
"i think he's like reggae jesus."
"she looks like a barefoot appalachian lil’ abner barbie."
and my current favorite... mostly because i'd totally rock the crap out of that dress. (however, if it was well sewn that may be impossible.)
"wow, it's like a depends dress. you'll never have to get up from your bar stool."
No comments:
Post a Comment