WANTED: subdued santa

and so the search begins.  the search for the least creepy santa in the local area.  a santa who will not scare the bajeezus out of delilah maeve.  i have mentioned before that i often don't fit the profile of "traditional parent."  this would be one of those times.  but in this case it is not due to a missing mom gene.  it is because in this moment my brain is waging a battle with my nostalgia.

my brain: why are you feeling the need to subject your child to the torture of sitting on the lap of some stranger dressed in a poly-blend red suit with a face full of synthetic hair?

my nostalgia: you have always loved looking at the pictures of you sitting on santa's lap.  if you don't partake in this parental tradition then some day delilah will wonder why there are no pictures of her sitting on santa's lap as a child.  

thus the search.  which is potentially pointless because even if i do locate a jolly old elf with some realistic whiskers, statistically speaking, delilah maeve averages a forty-five minute idling time before she is remotely comfortable approaching a stranger.

last year we went to the children's christmas party at the knights of columbus.  she was totally freaked out by the santa.
 

this photo demonstrates the measure of proximity she would allow.  she wouldn't even look at him.  and her high pitched yelps that echoed through the hall were code for, "get me the eff away from this dude."  i don't blame her though.  his fake beard was so stringy and gross and it covered 97% of his face.  she's no fool.  she knew he was sitting on a throne of lies.  he even creeped the crap out of me and i love costumes.

in the end we may have to settle for another photo shoot with the midget santa from my childhood.

oddly, she's not creeped out by him.  maybe because she's larger in stature.  and maybe because he doesn't smell like beef and cheese.