at eight in the morning i was in a shaws buying two dozen ice cream sandwiches. it was not for a snack attack. it was for a class project. however, while the cashier was ringing in my purchase i did contemplate eating at least a third of them myself. so there i was, waiting to swipe my debit card and daydreaming about binging on ice cream sandwiches, when i felt a presence in my personal space. i looked to the left and there was a tiny asian woman waiting next in line. except for her "next in line" seemed to be synonymous with "up my ass." i looked down at her and she looked up at me. a disturbing grin spread across her face and she somehow managed to creep closer to me than i thought humanly possible. i instantly went from a dreamy-floating-on-a-cloud-of-desserts mood to a crabby-annoyed-by-people mood. this is when i realized i have a real issue with personal space. i like it. a lot.
i consider myself a fairly easy going person. generally speaking, i go with the flow. but this incident got my wheels turning and i began to consider the many things i am not so easy going about. they are not deal breakers. they are more like pet peeves. or maybe they are just preferences. i don't know. regardless, they seem to be increasing in number as i age. and they seem to be interrupting my flow.
six preferences to ponder:
1) please do not put black pepper on my mashed potatoes. it totally ruins the natural flavor. please DO put a stick and a half of butter on them.
2) i enjoy looking at colored christmas lights strung around town but i do not like them on my tree. i do not like them on my house. i do not like them with a mouse. not in a box. not with a fox. it's strictly white lights for me.
3) if you invite me into your home i may adjust your lighting. please do not find this odd or startling. i have an issue with lighting. there is a fine line between too-bright and too-dark. and if i can see the light bulb, i might coerce you into disposing of your lamp. or i might go macgyver and fashion you a lamp shade with a coat hanger, toilet paper, and some duct tape. don't fret, i'm the daughter of a firefighter. i know my way around an extinguisher should things go awry.
4) speaking of toilet paper... for some reason i have a strange need for toilet paper to be placed on the spool so that the paper rolls from back to front over the top of the roll. it just annoys the hell out of me when it is not this way. so much so that i cannot even count the number of times i have rearranged the toilet paper in the homes of people i barely know.
5) why the hell do people serve my whiskey on the rocks with a lime? is there a plethora of whiskey drinkers that request limes? i might have to seek out this illusive group and sit them down for a tutorial.
6) i may have a touch of claustrophobia or an odd worry about a norman bates reenactment. i never buy solid shower curtains. i always buy clear vinyl ones. they always have designs on them. but they are always clear. not opaque. clear. WAIT... third possibility: am i a closet exhibitionist waiting for someone to mistakenly walk into the bathroom while i'm showering?!
given these oddities, i wonder what my defect rate would be.
though it doesn't matter much since i have no interest in total-perfection.
total perection... now that's another story.
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